I Wish..

/1. To be able to eat vegetarian food without clenching my face.

2. Not to crave for non veg, for every meal in a day.

3. Not to assume that Hanuman is still alive and lives in the Himalayas.

4. I don’t feel regret being a woman when I am chumming.

5. I am more relaxed and less tensed

6. To see the unseen and hear the unheard

7. To eat without thinking about my weight.

8. I could slide my cards on and on and not pay any bills.

9. I drink..but lots and lots of water.

10.  That Meryl Streep stop getting Oscar nomination

11. And finally Leonardo winning an Oscar.

12. Freido Pinto stop speaking in an unknown accent

13. Music be music and not Yo Yo Honey Singh

14. I learn how to let go things.

15. And when that is done, I don’t look back and regret.

16. I appreciate more that I have and not crave for things which are simply not meant for me.

17. I stop snoring

18. I stop professing my love for chocolates

19. I have a house made up of cheesecake only.

20. That dogs could speak and when I sad she comes to me says, that everything will be fine, for real.

21. A tiny vacuum that constantly roams around my apartment picking up hairs.

22. I had a mirror which shows my tummy in rather than out.

23. I had a completely white t -shirt which does not change color, whatsoever.

24. There was birth control for men

25. Tasty foods have no calories.

26. I do not have to wax and be a bear

27. I have a time machine and travel to all the best memories that I have left behind.

28. For a face where there are not pimples and freckles.

29.  I knew I had 100 more lives after this

30. I lived by the sea.

31.  People won’t give me hopeless smirks when I ask for a XL size in clothes.

32. For self de-clogging shower drains.

33. I don’t regret being a woman when I am chumming

34. Or can stop my period, when the time is not right.

35. For magic in my fingers that would produce

36. I traveled through out the world without any ticket and money

35. My identification is not just mere papers, but me myself.

36. For hair products that switch hair from curly and wavy to straight, whenever I want to, without struggling.

37. I finally learn how to tie a sari.

38. For more ladies public toilet.

39. For a pair of heels that won’t break my feet.

40. For my grandfather’s company.

41. An internet browser extension that hides all wedding and baby announcements.

42. I stop writing reminders on papers and then forget about those papers.

43. That finally people know that Naseeruddin Shah and Paresh Rawal are better actors than Amitabh Bacchan.

44. The rain actually wipe away all tears.

45. To live life without smart phones and laptop.

46.  To demolish dead lines and alarm clocks

47. To be a photographer.

48. To travel around the ancient and medieval ruins of the world.

49. To see Egypt.

50. To walk down the streets, alone and not feel scared.

51. To date Nawazuddin Siddiqui.

Horrorwood Horror !!

Before you judge me with the title, I would like to clarify that like any another Indian, I love hindi movie and would go at any levels to catch one, even in week nights.  I am definitely not one of those who is all for world cinema and doesn’t care about the thriving and multicolored and billion dollars worth film industry which we have. But recently I have come across one video, which made me think and question my love for Bollywood films. It is not my moral police- ness that is speaking but right now with the situation like this, where India is been ranked worst for women among the G20 nations, I have question which I ask myself and others:- How much is Bollywood to be blamed in the current fatal status of women in this country? Can directors and actors completely wash off their hands that they have nothing to do about it, or is there a fleeting responsibility they share towards a condition such as these? Theater, on the other hand is used as a social weapon to question the system right through ages, whether about women’s liberty, caste, love or the modern life, then why not films? Why are we not using a powerful forum like films to fight today’s injustice and still use it only as an entertainment factor? Why do we still throng at the multiplexes to see half nude if not completely actors bulging their muscles and whereas films like Chittagong or Inshallah Kashmir goes unnoticed or even doesn’t allow to be released? Why do we watch a film like The Reader or Milk just because it is made elsewhere and not come together to make a film like that here? India has much inspiring stories but that hardly comes out, but if a Poonam Pandey laughs and blushes with plunging neck line is an instant hit. It seems that today Bollywood has only become a den of nude or semi nude women shaking their bosom with muscular men. Acting skills have taken a backseat and directors only want people who would bare it all – for a song or for the whole movie.

This blog is not a projection of my feminist nut cracking but rather a distressed and tired mind speaking when the nation is at turmoil, not knowing exactly as to what women are to the society? Are we an object or a social status or a medium or simply as the joke goes that god created men and then he thought….’eeee what the hell, I am bored let just create something called women, but no self esteem or respect attached to it?’ Coming back to the video that I talked about, it starts with short clippings of Indian actresses shaking their booty and then directly goes to interview some men asking what do they think about eve teasing or so as to women and you shall be shocked to hear their responses….no I am not going to tell you, but take it for me, it does give you chills. But then my mind starts lingering and what I was curious is why does someone likes a Bollywood item song? Or in fact would enjoy watching an item song? Is it only because of the music or the beats or for the singer or the fact that voluptuous young women dancing in skimpy clothes showing off little extra and leaving you craving for more? And from where and when this item song of projecting women in a sensational way happened? Sometime back a song came called ‘Bipasha’ featuring Bipasha only. The song was trash but the video had a million view and if you have watched the song you would  know exactly why. Is this what was left for us? Simultaneously, what about the men who justifies eve teasing or rape saying that it is their right and if women show off their body then why is it a fault to admire that? So, does it imply that half nudity or more than half nudity in today’s entertainment industry is the real reason? Is it really we in the form of ‘bollywood item girls’ who are enticing the ‘male’ ? Karan Johar vehemently denied any social role Bollywood movies has to play, supported by people like Zoya Akhtar. Thus, I am asking you guys do you agree to this, or you think that in may other ways the latest trend that has come up and the justification that these people give to unnecessary nudity in songs and scenes has actually got something to do with it?

I feel Bollywood’s projection of women’s sexuality is quite problematic, in the sense that fair women are sexy…nudity for the sake of nudity is justified…teasing women can be comedy with innovative punch lines and item songs with gory lines objectifies women to enjoy. Just a passing thought…do women also ogle at hot guys? I mean like stare at their chest  or ass like the whole world is rotating there…or whistle or shagging in the public or even singing lewd songs? I mean do we…?? I am not saying you don’t appreciate beauty if its right next to you but appreciating and lusting is very different. I guess the situation is such if you are watching The Reader or 12 Years A Slave, the attention should not be on naked breasts or ass but rather the subject matter and what message does it convey. But unfortunately that is not the case. Aren’t we are all fed up of making Poonam Pandey a celebrity and how fucking frustrating it is when you see her talking about women and her respect, and she says..”I serve people what they want.” It is an extremely weird and confusing situation, where there seemed to be no solution, at all. I mean how would you even change the pattern of how people think, rather how men think? Just today evening  I had gone out for a walk in and was just in my casual wear. I had to visit an ATM and the moment I entered I felt the nasty gaze of the security guard on me and the way he was checking me out from head to foot. that was thoroughly disgusting. This is just the tip of the ice berg and definitely everyday we face much worse… but how do I explain to him that what he did was offensive? Or to the millions on the road…??? Indian screen is not ready for women in bikini…because we don’t have the maturity to perceive that, because those people who are posing are surrounded by macho body guards 24/7 and here we are getting the aftermath. Just Stop it..!! Even in television. If budding models want to make their living am sure there are other ways but just give it a halt..!!

Anywayzz, I never claimed that my blog searching for an answer but the intention was to nurture the think hat and put forward some questions which desperately needs to be answered. Is our Hinidi film industry really responsible or the ways it works that is the problem? Why is Katrina Kaif running in two piece is a sensational news or Poonam Pandey having a million follower in Twitter is a headline? Why we give the ‘celebrity’ status to people who doesn’t come in any way to that? We forget people who are regularly fighting every day every second a nasty war of survival. Do we have an answer…or will we ever ans answer.

And Yes, the video link that I talked about, here it goes.  http://www.storypick.com/damaging-truth-indian-entertainment-industry-doesnt-want-know/

Watch…Learn and Think..

Reminiscing 2 (Badami Caves, Pattadakal)

First of all a very happy new year guys (late though). Firstly, for all those people who missed me....awwww but I am back (a pleasing nod) and those of you who din't awww, I am back (don't care much nod). Am sure all of you had a marvelous and happening new years eve, with gallons of booze down your throat and tons of fresh meat in between your teeth I rather had a very interesting and different new years celebration. For a change, and so luckily I got two days off from my maddening life and ran away to a rather serene and quiet place to beckon 2014...to Pattadakal and Badami caves. The journey was quite simple - Yeshvantpur station - Mysore, Solapur express - Badami station. those of you, who have already been to Hampi thenlet me clarify that Badami is no way like that. It is a small place with practically no people, except for some crazy tourists with rocky hills surrounding it.

Bhoothnatha Temple, Badami

I reached there at 7 in the morning and you can imagine how unimaginably beautiful it might have been. But not all is beautiful and quiet when you next approach the auto ride. The general rate is 100 rs to anywhere from the station and it is one hell of a bumpy ride. The roads are simply awful and continues forever - its like dancing in a telegu song without any control of your body parts! But somehow that too you fall in love with as there is no crowd but green pastures and humongous hills, which are echoing history and you don't know for how long. So the effect of this whole journey can be twofold - You think in the way, that its a tiny wonderful place, where your mobile internet do not work which is great, the people are simple and there are just few hotels that serves the purpose or it is a place, where in spite of it being like a 'world heritage site,' the roads are simply awful, with no street lights or anything, no proper place to stay and those which are there are little expensive,not an inch of  development and you are vehemently asked not to step out of the hotel after 6 pm. That is no one way how you perceive a tourist place, most of all which is flocked by 'whites,' but yes you get BEER...all the time ! The KSTDC hotels are the best and you have the option of choosing a car or an auto for your tour. If you ask me, get an auto. So the whole tour of Badami Caves and Pattadakal can be completed in just a day, but if you are one of those who wants to 'sit, think and love,' world heritage sites then try saving its at least for 2 days. Boredom won't dare to touch you at all.
     I believe I should introduce briefly to the history of the Badami caves and the group of temples of Pattadakal for a better understanding. The Badami caves is considered as an example of Indian rock cut

architecture of the 6th and 8th centuries. there are four caves; all curve out of the soft Badami sandstone on a hill cliff in the late 6th and 7th centuries. Cave 1 is dedicated to Lord Shiva, Cave 2 and 3 to Vishnu and Cave 4 to Jain. There are long flights of stairs and people having knee problems should not try hard. Each of these caves has unique architectural styles, where humongous statues of Vishnu, Durga, Mahavira and Shiva can be noticed. I think the most beautiful sight would be the whole of Badami looks up to you. How beautiful it is especially during the twilight..!! It depends on you how long you want to stay back and enjoy the caves. I sat and sat and sat and experienced every bit of it, which is why a guard has to come and remind me that it is the closing time. So back to the guest house and nothing much to do in the evening. So an early dinner and sleep and all geared up for the beautiful Pattadakal temples.
        Pattadakal is around 30 kms from Badami and again auto is your chariot. But...but...but..no matter how much you might be enjoying the surrounding the road is bumpy, graciously bad and simply unmanageable. I won't give you any false hope that at the end you'r gonna love it because that won't happen for sure. But all is worth when you catch the first glimpse of the temples far away but standing gallantly.

Pattadakal

Pattadakal

               Again a brief history of this place. Pattadakal was the Chalukhyan capital, where temples were built between 7th and 8th centuries. There are ten temples including a  Jain sanctuary surrounded by numerous small shrines and plinths in fusion of various Indian architectural styles. Four temples were built in Chalukya Dravidian style, four in Nagara style of Northern India and the Papanatha temple in mixed style. Nine Shiva temples and one Jaina basadi, situated along the northern course of the river, Malaprabha. Please do not take a guide. they will   eat your head. Please..please experience the beautiful architecture not just by photographs but imagining the gigantic temples that stand in front of you. Do a little study before you venture out or else carry with yourself a book.There are innumerable ones and especially George Michell's 'Pattadakal' is the best one. I reached there at 10 in the morning and believe me, when I say this left at 6 pm. I don't know what I was doing but all I can say 31st December could not have been so so and so better. I experienced bliss in the stillness of those walls. I encountered another interesting soul - a person from Lithuania. He came down all the way to have a real 3D sketch of those temples. He said he came at 6 in the morning and saw the most beautiful

Mahisasurmardini

sunrise in the world..after the one he saw in Pashupati temple, Nepal. One very interesting thing caught my attention was an idol of 'Mahisasurmardini' in one of the temples, and got to know that mahisasurmardini was in fact worshiped in the southern India as a folk goddess for a very long time. the incarnation is in fact very similar to the way in which she is worshiped today in Bengal. Apart from these two you can also see the Bhoothnatha temple, Badami fort (not much is left), and Aihole caves

           The purpose of my blog is not to describe you the beautiful architectural designs or the temples that I saw, because as you will guess they are indeed beautiful and probably beautiful is just an understatement. I want everyone to know that there so many unknown places in India which are craving to be discovered by the people who loves traveling. Pattadakal in spite of it being a world heritage site is not known by most and thats a pity. Pattadakal also hosts a major dance festival which is something worth witnessing. India is not only about Delhi and Agra. I boasts so much of diverse culture and traditions which are depicted in various and amazing ways. South India holds 4 of the major world heritage sites. My intention is to cover all the ancient and medieval ruins in India. So far 3 is done...what about you? So pack your bags and let the dais roll..!! For now enjoy the amazing pictures and get jealous...!

               FYI did you that there is no train announcement that happens at the Badami station and that when a train arrives the station master comes and simply rings a bell? Should i still give you more reasons to visit this place? 

 

Bonbibi and her people

I don't want to term this as a traveller's insight, for what I experience and saw was out of the world and I would really urge everyone to leave those fancy shoes and travel to the so called uncharted territories, which are though, stones throw away from our place, but we shall never try  to give it a second look. Well, something similar happened to me which took me by surprise. Yesterday was 2nd Magh or as Bengalis say 'Doshora Magh, which was the time for Bonbibi r mela in the Sundarbans. Now please do not take your mind to the visions of forest and ferocious tigers when I say Sundarbans...coz it has 19 blocks and not all of them are like that. Mostly happens to be clear cut areas for cultivation or settlements, except for the blocks like Kultoli or Gosaba, which are nearer to the forest, while the rest of them can be travelled easily. Coming back to my topic of discussion, yesterday after travelling for nearly 3 hrs I discovered a mammoth fair or mela, which is attended by thousands of people, without fail. These people arrive from various villages. This is my dear the Bonbibir Mela. I got down at Dakhin Barasaat station travelled in van richkshaws for 25 minutes until you reach a point from where the only option is to simply walk. The walk is magnificent as you

are walking for at least more than 4 kms  through uncultivatable land which is called 'Bada.' The surrounding is simply awesome, especially if you are coming from busy hustle cities, coz here all you will get are open sky, open fields with no sign of houses and long chain of happy people walking towards the fair and you too match feet with them. I do not have words to actually describe the huge fields that I was walking through....I feel so feeble at times not to have experienced so much oxygen around myself, that I was panting for breath. Anywayz I managed to reach and found tons of people flying kites! They have come with their families, friends, daughters, sons, uncles, everyone's flying kites. Crossing that you reach the Harinkhali, which is a 'khal' or a small bridge after which is the main mela area. This place is actually at a confluence of 5 villages- Ramrudrapur, Harinagam, Chaltaberia, Babongachi and Khakherda. Once you reach the mela area you experience the sudden splurge of people coming towards you, you hear music and laughter and what you see is the undying faith on Bonbibi. Long cue, people waiting patiently to

Bonbibi's shrine

enter the shrine and seek the blessing of Bonbibi. They say 'ma r ashirbad.' Mind it, the ma is not the urban deity Durga! Well I thought bengalis can't do anything beyond Durga Puja, but apparently that is not so. Bonbibi too resides in people's home. I asked few people in the cue about their experience and each narrated their own individual story of bonbibi and her presence. Someone even claimed that he returned from her death bed only because of Bonbibi's blessing. However, what I found little contradictory is that Bonbibi is a deity which is even today followed by the Hindus and Muslims, but there were no Muslims who were entering the shrine to seek her blessing. Majority of the people were Hindus. Some said, that many come to Bonbibi for fulfilment of one's desires and for that they throw 'batasha' i.e. sweet cake to the crowd. Let me mention here, that Bonbibi came into existence as a god to protect people from tiger attacks but in numerous occasions I have noticed the transformation of her character to 'god of everything' and from Bonbibi to 'Bondevi.' This mela can be said of one such.

Bonbibi to Bondevi.  

       After this I turned my attention to the business part of the mela i.e. 'becha kena' or buying and selling of things and found out that furnitures sell like hot cakes, and each dealer makes a profit of nearly 10,000 rs in one single day. It was so amazing to see how passionately they talk about their work and each year to be part of the celebration. Some of them even uttered that they look forward for this particular day through out the year and how lovely it is to shop, especially furnitures. Places like these makes you realise how happy small things can make you...how delightful it is to experience those meaningless gestures and run around as if you do not have any directions to go. This mela reminded me of those feelings and the gestures that I miss now. I was dumbstruck by seeing the immense trust and belief that people has on Bonbibi. Some even proclaimed her bigger than Durga. I could not help myself any longer but succumb to my desire of having a jalebi and a bhelpuri and woooow I must say. It was the right medicine for my undying hunger. Everyone's happy...all were smiling...they were excited and giggling. The whole environment echoed positivity. Sundarban was definitely not all about tigers...their is life, with so much of different stories.This mela ends at 11pm, and the next day the businessmen heads off to another village nearby to sell off the remains...called as 'choto mela,' and I definitely know that 'choto' or small would just be in name. I returned back with memories that I will cherish through out and will come back again next year. Hogla and Gochoron are the two stations nearby, from where trains can be boarded for Sealdah. So you see, experiencing nature does not mean to have a 'Thai Spa,' rather, we should try to run away from our boundaries to venture in some different experience. I feel lucky that this is just the beginning of my awesome journey, I shall share all my insights, but I would urge all to see it with your own eyes....Otherwise you will MISS IT !

     

13 things you must do without your Mobile Phone

• Library Visit:- Visit a nearby library without the devil....remember the days when the books were your best friend. Seat down with your favorite novel...flip through the pages and experience the sweet smell of a book.

• Walk towards that favorite window of yours where half of your childhood has gone. Look at the world through it. Look for those innocent scribbling that you have done when you din't even know what you were writing...the rotted color will tell you how time flew by.

• How about taking a tram/bus/local train or even your private vehicle just and just driving through the roads not knowing where exactly you are going? Take the bus or tram or train, board from the first station and get down at the last one. Trust me you will see your city from an entirely different angle and feel the vibes which you have missed the most. 

• Going back to your childhood days and messing around with all those memories that you have left behind. Look through those old drawers, old photo album, old diaries, study tables, mark sheets and all those innumerable rubbish which is always there, but you overlook them and have shouted zillion times at your mother to throw them away. Seat, relax, see and think...feel those moments within yourself. Cherish, all those beautiful people that are caged, only to be relieved by you. 

• Watching that favorite film of yours in the DVD player or computer without any disturbance is superbly refreshing. For a matter of fact, try going to a movie hall and catch up the latest sensational movie all by yourself instead of waiting for a company. And when you are there, you know the rule...be with yourself.

• Cooking...or else stitching or painting or whatever that you have not done for ages and always think that you would do it in the coming weekend, when you will be 'free..' well guess what? just do it, as it will relieve you and makes you think about the person you were before.

•  A long walk through your neighborhood all by yourself. Its soothing, refreshing and tantalizing. You will discover new things around you. 
  

• Reading a beautiful novel without any disturbance is just amazing. That novel can be anything - especially the one which is always there in your book shelf but never saw the light of the day. Now is the time, to take it out, give it a hug, say sorry and immerse yourself ...and please respect it! Books too have feelings...!!

• Visit a friend and have a heartfelt chat. no whatsapp, we chat or fb or google hangout. Just face to face actions and reactions and realizing ones feelings and emotions for each other.

• Sleeping with no mobile phone beside you, is just the best. Get that deep sleep which you were longing for so long and make sure nothing disturbs you. 

• Sometimes shopping also can be so much fun without any technological hindrances. You can wander, choose and buy those garish colored items which you wouldn't have done with a friend. And yes, you do not require to update it in every 15 secs or buzz everyone around for their opinion. You are on your own. You are your own judge.

• Hit the road...pack your bags and simply hit it. You do not have to be virtually connected to the world. Stay connected through the nature through the real people. Let yourself be free and just not answerable to anyone. Its fun.

• Lastly, live life...whichever way you want...but not depended on any 'shit case.'

Films that touch your Heart Part III (Bombay Talkies)

I was so damn fucking tired with all the deadlines and write ups that I was desperate to seek solace in any possible ways, whether running away to any high class spa and get your nails done, (like one of those rich, lonely not - so - lucky industrialist's house wives), or even loitering around Bangalore roads with an empty mind, or even going out for an absolute candyfloss hindi movie where you do not need to think. I, honest to god had the urge to spend 400 bux on Ashiqui 2, as you could understand how PhD is poisoning me slowly, but then with the last controlling power that is left in me I regained myself and opened the god's paradise...Torrent..and believe me I landed upon on one of the finest prints of Bombay Talkies. Everything was working in favor of me...the night was cool, lights were out, torrent had a speed of 900 kb/s, and the stomach was full with my favorite dinner...I was totally in the mood to have a best time and boy, how right I was ! By the way, let me clarify, that I am in no way promoting film piracy, I just think that torrent is a god's grace for people like us, who can't or rather won't spend 650 bux just on a movie ticket excluding all the pop corns and the worthless junkies that you will buy, eventually. So why not torrent..? Its not piracy, its a revolution against the atrocious criminal minded multiplexes where you DO NOT even get the last row corner seat on request...! Anywayzz, my experience in my 14" laptop was pretty cool and boy how hot Rani Mukherjee looked in those low cut blouses and sarees..she was oozing with fire sexiness and the look just kills you...Miss Mukherjee you have made quite a number of women fall for you. Kudos to Karan Johar for finally making a FILM...like a real film. I have seen his interviews and he does exhibit a kind of maturity and honesty and finally that was visible in one of his work. I was so happy that he showed the kiss between the two guys for that was so necessary. It was just so natural and you can actually feel the attraction between the them. Each and every film has a specific rhythm and you sort of flows with that. Karan Johar's rhythm was so subtle, so penetrating whereas Zoya Akhtar gives you that ray of hope that nothing is lost in midst this world of competition. I was smiling through out Zoya Akhtar's tale, because at some point or the other you can relate to it. I remember once when I was in school I told my father that I want to be an actress and he thoroughly ignored me...how disappointed I was. But why Katrina Kaif? I mean it could be Kareena Kapoor, or Priyanka Chopra...why her?  It is so important to retain that dream which you see with your innocent eyes. Crushing those dreams, means crushing your own self, crushing that desire for which you live. Every household will have a father like Ranveer Shorey, but that's the challenge. It's like no parents will ever accepts their boy, dressed up like a girl, and dancing. But isn't that the what we want to overcome? I loved every bit of it. And the kid was just so cute! His smile is a killer...wooow..the innocence in his voice and those eyes makes him so adorable....oohhh..!! I think Nawazuddin Siddique is the best thing that has happened to the Film industry in the recent times. He is just so natural but yet enigmatic in his movements, expressions and screen presence. Dibankar Banerjee's narration is superb and those 20 mins you simply immerse yourself in the character's vision which was just so marvelous. But I should be honest here, I had difficulty in understanding the last piece a bit, and was not sure about the self realization part (common, I am no genius), but surely it was a good watch...a commendable work from everyone, even the girl who played Siddique's wife...just awesome! But Anurag Kashyap hits the bulls eye in his selection of actors, because they are just so perfect. I mean, I don't know, I am not too sure, but those bunch of actors have to be from theater. How natural one can get...how beautifully can one give those real expressions...I was simply mesmerized. That story belongs to everyone, and it was so funny when the security official came out said that the 'murabba' will be gone for lab testing after only which Amitabh Bacchan will eat, and the reaction given by the actor was of million dollars. Its like...it hits you directly, where it should hit you. The most important thing that I liked about this particular piece is that it did not give Amitabh Bacchan a god like figure where he calls that fellow inside his house and treats him with chai...I mean he too behaved like a star the way he should have behaved. The ending was just the perfect icing on the cake.
               All in all I was not at all disappointed after the 2 hrs. I simply enjoyed my late night show. It was worth all the effort (not money for sure). I heard that all the films were made at 1 crore only (only?? ahha) and thank god that K jo agreed to do so, at least we saw a real cinema coming out from his belt..I don't know whether films like this should be made more or not, but at least we as audience should expect directors to make substance sometimes. But these movies makes you think more. As if infidelity was not enough that now you have to make sure that the guy or girl you marry is straight..!! Now each one of us has to double check and in these cases long live Emotional atyachar...that's too much of a hassle. Who shall judge the thin line between a lie and a truth ? How will you know about your child's secret dream? As if life did not have enough problems already...anywayzz lets not linger our mind into these at once...lets just seat and relax and enjoy Bombay Talkies. This movie shall be stored in my hard drive...what about u? 

.

The Curious Case of Ameesha Patel

I hope no one is having any kind of misconception about me being a die hard fan of this particular creature called 'Ameesha Patel.' The only reason, I thought of dedicating this blog to her, is because of her curious and confused existence of a living organism, exactly not knowing in which category to put her....A human? An animal? An insect? Or some long lost specie which the scientists are also not curious to find? 100 Rs to anyone who would tell me what is she - an actress, a socialite, a diva, a style icon, an item girl, a page 3 participant, an economist (do not raise your eyebrows, plss) or just someone whose practically everywhere but doesn't really know where ? Lets dig into it and find out...shall we? Or we can at least hope to do so...
          So she gracefully appeared in this world on 9th June 1975, in a small family of mommy daddy and brother (of course the Super dude Ashmit Patel), who later were sued by her, claiming that her mommy and daddy most graciously has sucked down all her hard earned money, and she briskly demanded 120 million Rs. Yes..!! So far,  you have always witnessed this in  american sitcoms, but dear...It happens also in India !! Before plunging into Miss Patel, lets spend some time talking about The Mr. Patel (I can't help myself). Ashmit Patel is probably the most useless star I have ever seen and won't be wrong in saying that he is so much more useless...so much more useless...and useless.... that god probably thought why, how, when????? The guy can't act, the guy can't speak,the guy can't live and probably can't even shit. We shall just put him in one corner, because frankly speaking it is just not us who can decipher him. His only claim to fame is a certain film called 'Murder' with Mallika Shrawat and more so a sex video with another shit called Riya Sen. So you can say 'the shits' have this unique common radar system by which they attract everyone within their sphere. Even that video could not save him as it was just so pathetic and gross. Porn lovers won't even appreciate it And years after that he appears in Bigg Boss 5 mushing with Veena Mallick which gave him the tittle 'Super Stud' that he dared to host a show by the same name, giving tips to people more like him on...wait.... how to flirt...! Yes that is his career graph, and people like him are celebrity in India.

            Okkk...we are diverting from the main point. Yes, Miss Patel again. The only good thing about her is probably her Economics degree and her supposed gold medal in that. At first when you hear this and then see her in the bubbly bubble gum image in 'Kaho na Pyar Hai,' (KNPH) your heart surely melts. But after few debauches and  pronouncing yourself as the next big sex symbol, not a good idea, according to me. Especially when neither KNPH nor Gadar are films that can be called 'her' films only. And what is this Filmfare Special Performance Awards ??? I mean why on earth a mainstream Bollywood film actor would agree to accept an award such as this and not compete in the main category for the Best Actor (female)? Well apparently you do, and that's what she did in 2002 for Gadar. And after that...gone, vanished, vanquished, disappear. She did starred in more movies, one with Hritik Roshan (which am sure none of us would like to remember, not for her but for him) which could have saved her sinking career....but then...! And wooow what an optimist this chick turns out to be...she says, as I quote..."I have never left the industry and there is no comeback for me. Comebacks are for people who got married or had kids...I am right here, right now." Dear girl, surely you are here, but not in films, but of course in baby showers or page 3 parties or marriage ceremonies and being absolutely no one. Do you think that, this is 'being in the scene' ? If yess, then Uday Chopra is the president of India. At least he is dating  Nargis Fakhri (oh god! don't even make me start on that). I had the audacity of flipping through the pages of Filmfare and there she was, wearing the most shocking pink color, with golden hair, baring everything that can be bared (use your imagination) organizing Manyata Dutt's baby shower. Yes, apparently she was quite good at it. No, please do not try to remember the names of her films after Gadar, because even if I offer you a dinner at the Ibitza you won't be able to. But there is always Google and Me of course...! So lets see...ummm...Yeh Zindagi ka Safar...??? or Ankahee ?? or Humraaz??? or Suno Sasurji ??? or Yeh hai Jalwa ???? or Mere Jeevan Sathi ???? or Teesri Aankh ??? or Aapki Khatir ??? Noo...oh common...I know what will ring the bell. Honeymoon Travels Pvt Ltd, Mangal Pandey, Bhool Bhulaiya. I am not even counting the guest appearances and her blink - miss roles. The  above ones - if you have watched them in cinema halls...my sympathies...the ones below...if you have watched them in cinema halls... well you know it was not for her at least.
             Its not like I am judging here. I mean who hell really I am to do so. But I feel pity when we attribute the status of celebrity to people like her and ignore the bunch who are celebrities in the truest sense of the term. Fine, she got a gold medal in economics and fine she is not all that ugly, but what is she doing with that? How well is she utilizing her status? I mean doesn't she really feel bored and worthless at the end of the day? I mean isn't it sort of an insult for her to just pose in front of the camera without any motive? Yes, motive, a strong word...does she have one in her life? I mean what sort of role is she playing...? Race 2....Cherry? Really? And thats what it takes to be in Bollywood? I mean Nargis Fakhri had better expressions than her..and sexy?? nnoo that's what you call being a bimbo!
              Miss Patel, either do something substantial or ppplzzz spare us...we wanna breath. We promise to remember you as the girl with the pink skirt in KNPH and thats all...if you really wanna stick around, try finding a good director or an acting school...coz you are just forcing us to judge you..!
             

Size or Shape ??

Please do not let your mind do all the work right now before going over this piece of writing just by looking at the tittle. I might just add that this question probably revolves through every aspect of our lives and the answers generally lies within it. It is a common observation from my side that sizes and shapes have always been the two most integral constituents and the questions like how many and how much becomes so central. A 'fat bellied' girl like me, or to put it in a much sophisticated way the 'khati pita ghar ke' types I have rarely come across men or even women not rolling eyes when I have shown the audacity of picturizing myself in a super model avtar, selecting an outfit which Dolce & Gabanna might not have visualized me while stitching it. Lets see, its like, Queen Latifah emerging out to be Kate Moss...only figure wise...we should not even venture out to the rest. I feel that today the world has this inevitable distinction between the fat people and thin people...as if the good and bad weren't enough. And these so called huge apparel stores with bright lights and skinny men and women at the counters seems to be the watch dogs who are ready to bite you right at the point which will bleed red. An incompetent personality like me who has zero knowledge about fashion conducted a crime, when very recently I went over to a Levis store asking for a pair of bell bottoms jeans of my size (they are super comfy and very easy for me to carry it off). The look which the skinny girl with weird hairdo and color gave me is like, may be she calculated in her mind whether it it was still 2012 or have we moved couple of centuries back. She was horrified and I felt so bad for making this poor girl frightened so much  so that I immediately regained myself and asked any another style, if not bell bottoms. She started ransacking a whole range of skinny jeans with low waist. The first piece she showed me was this metallic blue with bits of sparkles on the rear pocket and super low waist...I was like, seriously??? Do I look like a Tangri kabab to you or you are just assuming that may be a needle will prick me and magically I shall be wooooooshhh..!!! Oh god..! I was speechless. Finally, she understood that she can't make a huge sale to me, she got me probably the last piece of surviving bell bottoms in this world, from the dusts of the store room, which probably in few days shall fall under the prey of the rats. I was delighted. Am sure, even today probably she narrates this story in horror as a person like me still exists.

          I wonder from where did this tussle between the fat v/s thin ugly v/s beauty started ? From which point did we start feeling embarrassed about ourselves? And how did we succumb to this big bad material world where we only think in terms of sizes??? Does size really matters or the shape ? Why is the world running behind the 'S' ? What is this business of XL becoming the S? Honestly speaking I don't have any answers. As a matter of fact I also do think on the same lines and wonder how it would have been if I had the figure of Kareena Kapoor? Well, pretty awesome, for sure, but then it would have been me. My 'ness...as to...my own self won't have been there. And for sure I hate Saif Ali Khan. I won't be who I am. I have seen faces lighting up the moment someone says those magical words...'you have lost weight.' Yeah, I have...I got severe diarrhea dude, may be for that..!! May be I din't want to but forced to...!! But no, we choose to keep quiet, as people will faint if someone prefers to be fat..!! Dddduuaahh..!! I know some amazing people in this world who are healthy, heavy build, lead super exciting lives, have amazing personality and a rocking life. You give them the book 'loose 4 kgs in 3 weeks,'...they will probably roll their eyes and pass on the book to you on your next birthday. For them the body is secondary. The primary is your soul. Pregnant mothers hit the gym as soon as the baby is out...everyone thinks about Malaika Arora Khan...to get that super slim, tight, hot body !! As if that is required for their husbands to fall in love with them...Again..!! Ugggghhh!! Chill women..those baby fat of yours is what your husband shall be crazy about, coz you are the mother of his child. Isn't it not enough for him to be in love with you? I get this amazing urge coming in when I see these 50 something aunties rushing themselves at the tread mill and panting for breath. Commo'n, its disgusting if at that age you simply wants to be Heidi Klum. Why can't you be Helen Mirren? or Shabana Azmi or Octavia Spencer or Melen Strip ?? None of them are sexy, but they are super awesome and the world adores them.  I remember once I saw this hugely build coolie in the railway station, who was carrying this tons of luggages and walking as swiftly like a snake. Boy ! I was amazed.
                Why are we always running behind in changing ourselves? I think our biggest problem is not the social inequality in the society or the unequal distribution of surplus, but the fact that we are never happy with what we have. There was a rage sometime back of coloring hair, and every parlor and salon were ludicrously having customers of all age who wants to turn their black hair into something, which they shall surely regret in 20 yrs down the lane. And at that time I read one article by Julia Roberts who exclaimed with  passion about having natural black hair. Thus, we are soooo thirsty for change, in all ways. So once the MD of United Colors of Benetton uttered that there is no room for healthy women at their store. I wonder he must be single, as no wonder he might just threw away his wife when she will be pregnant ! Or may be he has..! When do we really understand that it is not always the clothes that speak....when do we understand that it is not your makeup that people are looking and when do we understand that it is definitely not your body that people are judging....It is you, your mind, your intellect, your personality, your values that is crucial. It is by these virtues that you can build a powerful 'u' in the society.
                   I do not however rule out the importance of keeping fit. One should definitely keep that in mind, that our body is a our temple. It requires the useful caring and pampering. Keeping fit physically will also keep your mind clean. Thus, it is your prerogative and not your boy friend or husband's to tell you to hit the gym just because some baby fat is bulging out from the LBD you are wearing. Try to do it for yourself. Keep yourself fit to compete in this mad world. Exercise because you feel it is necessary. And lastly, forget about that stupid skinny girl next to your restaurant table...she is sooo worried about being skinny, as it is an accepted fact that, that is all she is there in this world. And if still that doesn't work, remember the words of some great men..'more to love.' We  all are good, perfect...we jusst need to change the lens a bit..!!

I miss...

• my innocence - my ability to laugh at the most stupidest thing on earth, my ability to blush on the silliest remarks made at me and my ability of understanding where everything and anything would simply surprise me.

• being just called by my name and not having the slightest knowledge about something called 'bitching.'

• having those times when the clock stroke 7 pm and with that ma would say 'porte bosho.'

• having home works and not assignments or meeting deadlines.

• those birthdays with simple chocolate 'Monginis' cake, yet to be replaced by 'Cookie Jar' or the so called French Bakery.

• going to the 'parar dokan' with my father and choosing chocolates. Mostly, it was always Milky Bar.

• holding my grandfathers hand at the 'maches bajar' and watch him delightfully bargain with the fish mongers just to get the best fish.

• how every Sunday morning my father would get 'bode,' the best I ever had, with luchi.

• my grandfather giving me 10 Rs. for having a chicken roll.

• going to the post office with him and getting a particular sweet for 50 p which made me the happiest little child.

• watching 'Raja and Rancho' with my grandmother in a small black and white television.

• getting jealous of my brother when my father brought him a cell phone - the first ever in our family.

• the radio being played every morning.

• my Cherry running behind my grandmother for a piece of cucumber, right after she came out  of the Puja room.

• having the best friendships in the world

• myself not being judgmental.

• not being figure conscious.

• those times, when friends would pat each others back and say, 'its ok to fail re...no big issue.'

• wearing my school uniform.

• my meaningless laughter.

• the thrill of having the first cell phone ever.

• the blush and smile while watching romantic films of Shrarukh Khan...candy floss romance were so real, sudden singing and dancing were so much fun.

• loving the pink color.

• the incessant puja hopping and gorging on the endless number of chicken rolls.

• bunking classes and watching the morning shows at the Inox, just because the price of the tickets were low.

• the undying value of 100 Rs on our lives.

• pen and paper.

• book stores and smell of books (now since everything is online).

• my Walkman and the innumerable audio cassettes.

•  the sleeper class in trains
• Growing up.                                                         ...................The List is endless                                                                                                                                                                 

Films that touch your Heart Part II, (Chitrangada, 2012)

I am a hardcore movie buff and not just one movie but of every movie. I watch for them fun to relax and also most definitely to get moved. In my life, it is my sheer luck that I have come across some of the spectacular movies from round the world and I think watching movies is a must for everyone if you want to enrich your taste. Most importantly, movies gets you to travel round the world without a visa and passport. In my opinion, you can also speculate a person's character by the choice of his movies - if you ask me, my all time favorite  is Revolutionary Road, and yes you got it right, I dislike romantic ones from the core of my heart, unless I am in a mood to waste my time and won't repent it for sure, then probably a rom - com chick flick starring mindless grits is just fine. What instigated me to write this blog is in absolute sheer necessity to let the world know about this movie that I chanced upon, which is in my mother tongue, and I believe most of my bengali friends have already witnessed it, and I being the unlucky one living outside my Kolkata for quite sometime, only got my hands on it through torrent. That is my dear friend, is Rituparno Ghosh's Chitrangada. I had an almost head pounding day and I decided to end it with a movie only hoping that like my supervisor, this also should not disappoint me and boy I was so relieved. People who have seen it and liked it a biiiig thumps up to you, people who have seen it and din't like it a biiiiiiig 'what d fuck' look and the people who have seen it and din't understand it a biiiiig 'urge to go and see it again' look. Whoever is reading this blog I might just add, that this is not a review of the film. It is just an endeavor from my side to share my feelings and views. Its in no way objective.
               I did not think I could seat with a bowl of popcorn and munch my way out. The film is hard hitting and am sooo proud that such an amazing and thought provoking film is made in bengali. It only proves how regional films are so so far ahead than our Bollywood. Chitrangada is my own personal favorite among Tagore's dance dramas, and I have myself portrayed the role of Kurupa and Arjun innumerable times (wonder why not Shurupa...hmmm) and I am glad, that Rituparna did justice with the subject. This is not a love story, neither it is about homosexuality or gays or sex. Chitrangada is a film about individuality, about ones own deepest choices about ones own desires. It is a film about how we make certain choices in our life and in which conditions it gets induced. Rudra is a choreographer who is controlled, strong, and powerful and Partho is his lover who is a lost percussionist  untamed, uncontrolled and unloved. Its like the meeting of the north and south pole...but it did meet. Rudra had the every quality of a star but he does not want to surrender whereas Partho is a tame less junkie who wants to surrender. The love that is shown , full of passion and emotions in every step about their lives. Ultimately, with the situation and Partho's happiness Rudra has to make a choice...a decision which altered everything that he had. You, know  I thought for a moment what could make a strong personality like Rudra to take a drastic decision of sex change and I realized its plain and simple love. You know, its one of those times, when many of us has taken certain decisions and has done adjustments not for ourselves but so enamored by love that it seemed the right thing to do... definitely for the other....after all love indeed is wild and blind...!! It is very similar to the real Chitrangada who too wanted to change herself...from the manly hunter to the epitome of beauty..only to be accepted by Arjun. We say times have changed but when in love time stands still. Its like Chitrangada is always the same; whether in 21st century or in the times of the Mahabharata.

                         The question however remains whether the decision is right or wrong? But who shall give that answer ? Who shall bear the responsibility of Chitrangada from a male to a female ? Or more importantly, how well will she be accepted ? I loved the way how the parents were shown. Their transition was bouncy, but not consists of screams and cries. Actually, to be frank, it is rightly understood that there is nothing as 'normal.' Normal can be anything. A beggar licking his food from his plate is normal and so  a man with womanly distinctiveness. A body does not personify a personality. A body is a simple entity which is given by the almighty to be visible in the world. A personality is what we build up. Me is not my body but my personality. But i believe we have to go a loooong way to judge a person only by his or her personality and not body. Rudra's decision of becoming a woman was only to have legal rights on adopting a child with Partho. Its not like Rudra was unhappy being a man nor was he unsatisfied...but Partho and his feelings towards him induced him to take the decision of transforming himself into a woman. But that still did not satisfy him as he went ahead and decided to be with a 'real woman'. Real why..? because she was born with a vagina and breasts...no synthetic...but  natural ones.
                           Rudra did not become a woman. Partho left for other option. But like Chitrangada, Rudra also decided to be the Kurupa, because thats what his mind decided to be. Movies like these, makes you realize that there are so many unattended issues in India that requires our attention. How do you decide to transform your body ? And what social norms one should follow ? Who decides these social norms ? I was bowled by the scene when his parents came down to see him at the hospital, and how lovingly his father hugged him and said, " come back home. Your mother has re decorated your room with new curtains." Acceptance is the biggest power that god has given us, but the most difficult one. Rudra did not care whether his parents accepts his new self or not but their acceptance indeed increased his confidence. I simply adored the scene. It has the deepness and an uncanny silence which so evidently reaches the audience. I hope such films are made more often and nurtures our mind. Its like we are continuously being conditioned to be someone and it becomes difficult for us to fathom as to decipher what we really want. This conditioning becomes permanent  and any alterations will be witnessed with raised eyebrows.
                     Watch the film, try it out at least once. Don't just discard it as obnoxious. It will make you think. But unless you are like my aunt whose reaction was ' ki jata...esober kono mane ache....uuufff...matha dhore gelo...' then its best to avoid. I love Rituparno...and am sure so will you...till then...http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7prDTZhwA8U 

Its Different...

I did not have the intention to write this blog, especially at this moment, when I think I am sinking beneath all my pending works, and also when I see some more coming towards me. But somehow, something unseen instigated me and here I am collecting all my thoughts and penning down whatever that is possible. We all see dreams and out of those innumerable ones, there is always one very specific that remains with us which we aspire to achieve one day, and no matter what, we do not leave any stone unturn to nurture that. There are innumerable jokes concerning the full form of PhD...one popular being 'Permanent Head Damage or 'Passed High School with Difficulty.' (Yes it is funny...indeed). Pizza hut even came up with their own version; as Pizza Home Delivery. But for us, who have taken the oath of fulfilling the uncountable assignments and meeting deadlines, the term definitely does not hold the same. It is far more deeper than what normally is understood. It is a job for 24 X 7, where there are no scheduled breaks...no scheduled holidays...nor scheduled pay checks. So the question remains what then you have?? I am not the right one to give a constructive answer to this...but yes we have one thing which probably today a lot of people lacks...A LIFE..! Again, don't mistake me when I say this, as we all know no ones life is perfect. You gotta take everything with a pinch of salt. So basically what is PhD ?? You are given 4 to 5 years, with everything that you require and come up with something absolutely original. You think that is easy??? Try leaving your high collar job, living on something called 'stipend' and not salary and doing this.It indeed is a challenge. Everyone of us who are right now in their PhD years or the ones who already has the name tag, will agree with me that we are special. Please, that however does not mean that we are 'god's special child' or moreover 'god's favorite child.' No absolutely not. We are special because we all are idiot enough to leave something so lucrative that would have set your life forever. But no, we had to come here, be in the world of PhDs and get regular police interrogation from your parents. Yes, we are different ! We are probably the only adults in the world who can afford to get up in a Monday morning at 10 am and still not get penalized, we are also the only ones who does not have to see the boss's face everyday (but there shall always be an unseen string which will inevitably pull you around) and we are definitely the only ones who have the highest access to free food ! So you see, its not easy to have a Permanent Head Damage, however. One thing that god gives us with both hands is Patience. But however, if seen from the other side, I guess you have to have patience, because you don't have a choice. I mean even an impatient and psychotic person like me, is eventually filled up with too much of patience that you practically turned stoic. Yes, your nervous system will die slowly and the sense organs will scream and cry and say 'sorry but we can't react anymore....give us a break.' Probably you would start relating yourself with Camus's Outsider. But hey...! Do not worry, because in PhD, this is 'normal.' You are ultimately coming in the ZONE. Hmmmph...!
                       Our laptops and computers are our lives. All the Lenovos and Compaqs and Hps even Microsoft should honor us, as we take them in living forms.We believe they too have emotions, sentiments, and whom do you punch, when that right sentence does not come correctly ??? Of course your beloved laptop, because you know it will never retort you back. So, its a request...take care of your beloved by regular servicing..!! The most exciting part in a PhD life, is that it differs from person to person. There is no objective view, or any theoretical framework (oopss) that can sufficiently suffice or explain why it is so. We are always taught to answer this basic question...SO WHAT, but the funny part remains that the answer to this question if concerning your own life, does not necessary be sublime. Its HELL in one word. The  interesting element is your supervisor, or guide, or mentor, or boss...or your Biggest enemy..!! Now thats what you call is 'irony.' He or she will most definitely have the most inquisitive look, you will ever come across and shall retain that even when you are done speaking, wondering whether to proceed or not, when you shall have an abrupt end to your valuable thought process with the most significant question ever, coming from the other side...'SO??' And you shall be like...'wooooww the last 10 mins were sooo meaningless.' Being dumb is also not a choice, because if you are quite you shall be bombarded with so many words, half of which shall be Hebrew to you, and without much understanding your head will simply nod. And if you have happened to cross that stage, then welcome to the next one...i.e. choosing your externals. Now, for sure that creature from any distinct planet will always disagree with your boss, and you shall be at the loggers head...Who said its always MBA who teaches you to be diplomatic...??? So by 4 yrs your Yess and Nos shall comprise of May be or I shall keep it in mind. Thats the best way to deal with the questions or comments coming back to you. I liked the PhD movie quite a bit. I won't say it entirely depicts the reality of our lives but that has something close to it. I wonder why isn't Madhur Bhandarkar listening ? If he thinks that academics does not have gossip, he is in for a shock. Academics is much more murkier. The one who lives it will know the best...but I guess its true for every profession. But ours is indeed different.
               Be that as it may, but there is something really unique that PhD offers you which probably any CEO of a company will not achieve. Friendships, Motives, Power and most importantly 'Dr.' No matter where  you are or what you are doing nothing can take away this two lettered word, which would remain till your end...in the truest sense of the term 'death do us part.' It shall build your identity. You will made some amazing friends who will see you rise up and catch you when you will fall....who shall really pat your back and say that things will be all right, of course there shall be occasional black sheeps, but you obviously know how to handle them. There is salt but there is sugar too. So to all my PhD friends....we are truly GREAT..!! So may all the Doctors come through..!!!