Are you kidding me!

I am 27. I live my life on my own terms. I have a career to look forward to. I have caring friends and family. I like what I am doing and, most importantly, I am very comfortable with where I am standing, which refers to the rock solid steady hands beneath me that I have nurtured through my lived experience. In other words, my age. I think I am not the only one - people around me, my friends, cousins, family members, everyone of us is absolutely comfortable and more than happy to accept the realities of life, and elated to announce that they are living life with full 'masti'. So at this juncture, when Priyam suddenly one morning introduced me to an advertisement of something called '18 again,' honest to god, I just could not believe what I was seeing or hearing. As if the women's movement never happened, as if people like Simon de Beauvoir or Kamini Roy were never born and the whole idea of feminism or women's rights was just another myth. Let me give you a more detailed picture of what I am saying. So, '18 Again' makes female rejuvenation and tightening gel, so that women can get back their spicy life - again! No, I am not kidding, yes you heard me right, that is exactly what I said. The website is obnoxiously illogical and the kind of punch lines that they have used are so overrated that I wonder whether such women exist at all. If you don't believe me, check out this link: http://www.18again.com/web/ And if you can't believe your eyes or your other sense organs, then please call yourself normal. Try reading the punch lines accompanied by beautiful faces, representing Indian women. I hope your blood boils. I hope the blood pressure starts to rise, at least. One of the products that caught my eyes was called a vagina tightening gel and the advertisement for it left me awestruck and horrified. If this is what we are waiting for and if this what feminists are fighting for, the so-called women's rights, then I have nothing to say. There is this woman who is singing her lungs out saying that she wants to be a virgin - again - and how wonderful it would be! Hello? Just when I thought I should let it go, I saw this line, "After all these years in love, we have fallen in love again!" Really? I mean your relationship is so fucking lame that you need a fucking tightening gel to fall in love with your beau. Forget about being a feminist or anything, but from a man's perspective, isn't it an insult for them too? I mean, aren't we just saying that men can only measure their love by is by analyzing the way they are participating in sex? I mean, isn't it too terrestrial after all? http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rgqiO4sd848 Try tolerating this ad for 3 minutes, and if you think you can, I think you have more willpower than Bhagat Singh. Ouch! My day got more amusing as I found out that this shit is endorsed by another shit in the form of Celina Jaitley. The reason why she is endorsing it because she is a mother and she understands the importance of such products for women. See, I do not want to elaborate more, as I believe that would lead me only to use profanity in one single sentence, but I have just one thing to say. So, motherhood is a hindrance for everything you want to aspire, at an age and time when you think you can't! Wow! I am sorry, but this simply is not acceptable. If marriage or giving birth to your child takes away your happiness in bed and your partner thinks that you are a bore, then madam, the problem lies much deeper, and a fucking tightening gel will not give you the satisfaction you are looking for.

          I have no problem with anyone's personal decisions in these cases. Everyone has the right to do whatever they want, after all, it is their life. My problem lies in the fact that these and other products like s whitening creams or even clothes are marketed in such a way as if life without them is useless. And that you, as a woman, do not have the same existence as you would by just being yourself. Then, our mothers or grandmothers probably do not have right to live. Is this what we call a revolution? Celina Jaitley is someone whom, if you avoid, you won't be taken to jail for sure, and she understanding the pain of women's passion right after marriage, is probably something which she herself is facing. I personally feel that it is derogatory to women and men. If such things could untangle the complexities of life, then probably suicides won't happen, girls won't be thrown out by their husbands, physical abuse of women would become a myth. I am sure all of you have seen the ads for Fair & Lovely or even Vaseline body lotions, the promotion of which happens along the lines of  'confidence.' Honestly, do they really think that all a woman cares about is to look fair and that her confidence would be back if a notorious passerby gave her a second look? Fair skin, glowy cheeks, luscious lips, killer figure, and now a tightened vagina - that's what Indian woman are or for that matter, any woman. Every woman standing at their age, I am sure, are confident in their own way and accept the natural process of aging. For god's sake, no one would like to go back 10 years in their life just to feel how they did the first time  and buy something which would let them have that when they have passed that stage long back. Probably, they would, but the reasons, I am sure, will be far different. If this is feminism, if this is women's liberation, then we are going in a very wrong direction. I am sure half the population is unaware of Irom Sharmila's work. Because she doesn't come in T.V. often, does not use a skin lightning cream or a vagina tightening gel, and is not seen in Page 3 parties. Can't we make people like her our heroine? There are so many things that we can worry about, but definitely not this. A few months back, a company even came out with a lightening toner to make your private parts fair (I am not kidding, seriously). Do you have anything to say for that, I urge you, please say!

           That stupid 'dabba of cream' costs more than what a man probably earns in a month. So,  for a wife to get back her long lost love, would have to spend her husband's hard-earned money and then, expect miracle to happen in bed. Wow! I mean that would definitely boost up a relationship, or maybe, this is exclusively an elite product, which is out of reach for most of the middle class. So, all you middle class house wives, sorry, we do not have anything to offer you, you simply have to go on mopping and watching your t.v. serials! Uurrrrgggh, please rise up! This is not what hundreds of people fight about when they talk about women's empowerment. Don't let our ancestors commit suicide in their graves. I am not asking anyone to be a radical revolutionary, but at least, question things that happen around you. If you want to be young, and be in love, there are other ways. Be happy, be caring, laugh, see the beauty around you, live for yourself, eat healthy and you would beat any Aishwariya Rai hands down. Simply, be yourself. Let 'natural' things happen to you naturally. That's what life is. I am no great soul to lecture anyone on life, but these are some little steps towards a much greater goal. We have to live, but we can do it in our personal ways. Cheers!

                     

45 hrs of introspection.

After attending the most wonderful, colorful, and bustling wedding of my favorite friend in Delhi, I encountered the chance of spending the next nearly 50 hrs all by myself - thanks to my dear Dad, for letting me have the ultimate experience of the Indian Railways. I think our British forefathers were smiling at me, for so graciously loving the cheap leather seat / bed for two whole days and hungrily pouring down whatever food that was available through my food pipe. I was soooo drowsy while seating at the Nizamuddin station as if Rip Van Winkle's spirit has taken over my body forever. I could barely open my eyes and experience the first chilly wind of Delhi. Given a chance, I would have taken out my blanket and had gone off to sleep, may be the deepest sleep of my life, only to be woken up after sometime by the continuous and agonizing whistles of the train and making me realize that my dear bed is still 2000 kms away. With all those pending sleep and realizing that my dear flipflops have been left back at my friend's place, I decided to kill time by all the trashy magazines that were available. Luckily, there was no dearth of it. I got hold of all the juicy gossip that I could, right from the films to the hi - fi page 3 parties...who slept with whom, who switched gfs...eveeeerrrryyything. All my sleep was vanished, and my eyes were firmly glued to the pages, god how desperate I can be...;) Trust me, trashy magazines can be one of the best companions when you are traveling alone...it gives you the necessary anecdotes of amusement that you will be needing it.

            So after waiting at the station for nearly 3 hrs and heart and mind flipped with the so called 'dehlites' I boarded my train, which was my destination for the coming 45 hrs, I realized, that I want to sleep. Taking the side - lower seat, I was waiting for the train to start, so that I can immediately plunge into the dream world. As, my luck was, I was surrounded by family and of course KIDS..! The capital letter is only to show the propensity of kids, especially a crying one, on anyone, who simply wants to be at peace ! No that won't be possible...just impossible in another word ! Still I managed, pulled the curtains, arranged the pillow....and broom I was out. I surrendered myself to all those impending sleep and said..'take me..take me as far as possible,' and boy! I slept like dog..! I din't care, what was happening, who all were there...I just faintly remember the Okhla station and that's all, only to be woken up by a hoarse voice after 5 hrs, which happens to be the caretaker asking for lunch orders. I felt like shouting at him in my bengali style, but then food was also needed. After, the nose burning spicy chicken and rice with age old salad I again surrendered myself for another 5 hrs. I could feel all the possible gazes on me, people thinking me of some kind of junkie whose in drugs or marijuana for sure. There was one family just in front of me kept talking among each other in their mother tongue, directly pointing at me. I was amused to see those reactions, but then who cares when sleep or nature calls you..!! It is so interesting to see how easily we judge people, by very simple actions, which probably does not mean anything. Just coz I was traveling alone, sleeping a lot, did not eat much, not at all social, not friendly towards kids and most importantly frequently vising the loo - has to be a fishy character..!! wooow...that's the rule of the world. I just managed my sleep beautifully.
                     Ok. So now it is 6:30 pm. I am wide awake. All the kids around me are screaming at the top of their voice. All the possible laptops in that compartment are switched on in the highest volume and a mixture of all the sounds have created something, which can't be called musical neither trashy. My i pod was giving it's death knell, and I dare not touch it. I am done with the cheap magazines, done with the newspaper and still can't think of anything that I can do. I managed to seat up and pulled up my curtains just to let some electricity in. I started doing my favorite thing - watching people. There were two kids of age around 8 to 10, who were surprisingly not notorious started humming some songs. They were good, really good and to my surprise one of the songs that they sang, comes from a very old movie, vinod khanna and dharmendra starring The Burning train. It did struck me as hardly anyone would even remember that song...see me, right now, even I don't. The singing sessions continued for more than half an hour and in some point even the dancing too. I started looking outside the window. Nor that could help me much as it was 3 tier A.C and the glazy glasses could only give me a faint glimpse of the innumerable stations that the train was zooming through. I had a passing thought...what if all these stations and trains could speak ? What would have they said to each other? The train as the wild Casanova and the stations as the sexy lasses.....and he is rushing through all the good looking chicks ultimately reaching to his girl...hehehehe...see this is what happens when you have absolutely nothing to do, but has tons of time to kill. I started calling as many people as I could, but due to the 'developed technology,' in the half way of every conversation the network was playing hide and seek. Finally, I decided just to be with myself. I remember one of my friends saying that traveling alone gives you a lot of time to think about yourself, which normally you wouldn't. I listened to this wonderful song called Praan, which is basically a Rabindrasangeet but done quite interestingly by Gary Schyman. That song always takes me to some other land, especially the piano part in the beginning. Just when I was settling down, that peculiar hoarse voice made its reappearance again..'Madam, dinner.' I put a hold to my thinking hat, gulped down the chicken and rice and found my eyelids coming down again. It was 9 pm. Yes, I know I have this amazing ability of sleeping in any journey. I am definitely quite an expert. The scene in the train was different. Movies were running, and for heavens sake, the single compartment had more laptops than probably an entire mall and the incessant singing and dancing was going on by the two girls. Two very fashionable girls looked at me and whispered among themselves....I was like woow ! Within 12 hrs, I am already a subject of gossip among strangers. Quite an achievement, I must say. I simply yawned tucked my curtains and went off to sleep. Yes AGAIN.
                 I was up at 7 am. Yes, its right. 7 am sharp. When the whole train is still snoring, I was up. Common, I mean my body must be screaming,'please, please, no more sleep..anything but not sleep.' I looked outside. The train was passing through green meadows, and at one time it stopped at a small station. I kept on looking outside. I would not lie and say that there was any beauty to get struck, but something outside just was so serene. There was a little girl who especially caught my attention. She was wearing this beautiful pink ghagra and running up and down through out the platform. Something about that child made me so happy from inside and I kept on staring at her until the train was again on wheels. That morning was wet and misty and I kept on listning to Shomlata...dunno bt it felt just perfect. Slowly the compartment was coming into life. The que at the toilet reminded me of my good old days in HCU, where we used to impatiently stand with our buckets and tooth brushes..!! The songs keep on changing...with Enya followed by Katy Perry, Floyd then 3 doors down and of course the good old masala hindi ones. My introspection continued in its own space, where I analysed on some of the decisions that I have taken in my life, on the people that I have met and most importantly on myself. Good bad or ugly, it is after all my life and I should matter the most. I realised the wrong moves that I made, but somehow I do not repent. I think because they were wrong, and the results were so awfully upside down, I undererstood what is right. I do not agree that for everything maturity is must. Firstly, I am highly unclear as to what is maturity? How do you understand if he or she is mature or not ? For me maturity is highly overrated, and problems in life are like bread with butter. 'You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape.' Wei red but, actually so many things were jostling in my mind. Train journeys alone can teach you so many things. It gave me time to miss my dear grandfather. How much I miss his presence in my life. No decisions are wrong....they just have another side to it. While tackling all these ideas, I jotted down few points in a paper and made sure that these are done. One of them is to simply feel happy about who I am.
                        Right now, where I am standing, probably the little girl whom I saw at the station will kill to be there. The boy who is brooming the floor will do everything just to owe my latest i - pod. And thats the truth. I did not realise that time went so fast and it was already lunch. The rest of the journey included me reading a journal on which I have to write an assignment and of course answering calls from my parents and assuring them that I am fine. I realised I was not complaining. That was new. Night swept in and people got down and got in. But I stayed where I was. Finally I reached my destination in the next day early morning. I got down, took my bag, stroll through the Yeshwantpur station, bargained with the autowala and reached my dear bed. But surprisingly I was not tired. I started my unfinished work...again..!!