45 hrs of introspection.

After attending the most wonderful, colorful, and bustling wedding of my favorite friend in Delhi, I encountered the chance of spending the next nearly 50 hrs all by myself - thanks to my dear Dad, for letting me have the ultimate experience of the Indian Railways. I think our British forefathers were smiling at me, for so graciously loving the cheap leather seat / bed for two whole days and hungrily pouring down whatever food that was available through my food pipe. I was soooo drowsy while seating at the Nizamuddin station as if Rip Van Winkle's spirit has taken over my body forever. I could barely open my eyes and experience the first chilly wind of Delhi. Given a chance, I would have taken out my blanket and had gone off to sleep, may be the deepest sleep of my life, only to be woken up after sometime by the continuous and agonizing whistles of the train and making me realize that my dear bed is still 2000 kms away. With all those pending sleep and realizing that my dear flipflops have been left back at my friend's place, I decided to kill time by all the trashy magazines that were available. Luckily, there was no dearth of it. I got hold of all the juicy gossip that I could, right from the films to the hi - fi page 3 parties...who slept with whom, who switched gfs...eveeeerrrryyything. All my sleep was vanished, and my eyes were firmly glued to the pages, god how desperate I can be...;) Trust me, trashy magazines can be one of the best companions when you are traveling alone...it gives you the necessary anecdotes of amusement that you will be needing it.

            So after waiting at the station for nearly 3 hrs and heart and mind flipped with the so called 'dehlites' I boarded my train, which was my destination for the coming 45 hrs, I realized, that I want to sleep. Taking the side - lower seat, I was waiting for the train to start, so that I can immediately plunge into the dream world. As, my luck was, I was surrounded by family and of course KIDS..! The capital letter is only to show the propensity of kids, especially a crying one, on anyone, who simply wants to be at peace ! No that won't be possible...just impossible in another word ! Still I managed, pulled the curtains, arranged the pillow....and broom I was out. I surrendered myself to all those impending sleep and said..'take me..take me as far as possible,' and boy! I slept like dog..! I din't care, what was happening, who all were there...I just faintly remember the Okhla station and that's all, only to be woken up by a hoarse voice after 5 hrs, which happens to be the caretaker asking for lunch orders. I felt like shouting at him in my bengali style, but then food was also needed. After, the nose burning spicy chicken and rice with age old salad I again surrendered myself for another 5 hrs. I could feel all the possible gazes on me, people thinking me of some kind of junkie whose in drugs or marijuana for sure. There was one family just in front of me kept talking among each other in their mother tongue, directly pointing at me. I was amused to see those reactions, but then who cares when sleep or nature calls you..!! It is so interesting to see how easily we judge people, by very simple actions, which probably does not mean anything. Just coz I was traveling alone, sleeping a lot, did not eat much, not at all social, not friendly towards kids and most importantly frequently vising the loo - has to be a fishy character..!! wooow...that's the rule of the world. I just managed my sleep beautifully.
                     Ok. So now it is 6:30 pm. I am wide awake. All the kids around me are screaming at the top of their voice. All the possible laptops in that compartment are switched on in the highest volume and a mixture of all the sounds have created something, which can't be called musical neither trashy. My i pod was giving it's death knell, and I dare not touch it. I am done with the cheap magazines, done with the newspaper and still can't think of anything that I can do. I managed to seat up and pulled up my curtains just to let some electricity in. I started doing my favorite thing - watching people. There were two kids of age around 8 to 10, who were surprisingly not notorious started humming some songs. They were good, really good and to my surprise one of the songs that they sang, comes from a very old movie, vinod khanna and dharmendra starring The Burning train. It did struck me as hardly anyone would even remember that song...see me, right now, even I don't. The singing sessions continued for more than half an hour and in some point even the dancing too. I started looking outside the window. Nor that could help me much as it was 3 tier A.C and the glazy glasses could only give me a faint glimpse of the innumerable stations that the train was zooming through. I had a passing thought...what if all these stations and trains could speak ? What would have they said to each other? The train as the wild Casanova and the stations as the sexy lasses.....and he is rushing through all the good looking chicks ultimately reaching to his girl...hehehehe...see this is what happens when you have absolutely nothing to do, but has tons of time to kill. I started calling as many people as I could, but due to the 'developed technology,' in the half way of every conversation the network was playing hide and seek. Finally, I decided just to be with myself. I remember one of my friends saying that traveling alone gives you a lot of time to think about yourself, which normally you wouldn't. I listened to this wonderful song called Praan, which is basically a Rabindrasangeet but done quite interestingly by Gary Schyman. That song always takes me to some other land, especially the piano part in the beginning. Just when I was settling down, that peculiar hoarse voice made its reappearance again..'Madam, dinner.' I put a hold to my thinking hat, gulped down the chicken and rice and found my eyelids coming down again. It was 9 pm. Yes, I know I have this amazing ability of sleeping in any journey. I am definitely quite an expert. The scene in the train was different. Movies were running, and for heavens sake, the single compartment had more laptops than probably an entire mall and the incessant singing and dancing was going on by the two girls. Two very fashionable girls looked at me and whispered among themselves....I was like woow ! Within 12 hrs, I am already a subject of gossip among strangers. Quite an achievement, I must say. I simply yawned tucked my curtains and went off to sleep. Yes AGAIN.
                 I was up at 7 am. Yes, its right. 7 am sharp. When the whole train is still snoring, I was up. Common, I mean my body must be screaming,'please, please, no more sleep..anything but not sleep.' I looked outside. The train was passing through green meadows, and at one time it stopped at a small station. I kept on looking outside. I would not lie and say that there was any beauty to get struck, but something outside just was so serene. There was a little girl who especially caught my attention. She was wearing this beautiful pink ghagra and running up and down through out the platform. Something about that child made me so happy from inside and I kept on staring at her until the train was again on wheels. That morning was wet and misty and I kept on listning to Shomlata...dunno bt it felt just perfect. Slowly the compartment was coming into life. The que at the toilet reminded me of my good old days in HCU, where we used to impatiently stand with our buckets and tooth brushes..!! The songs keep on changing...with Enya followed by Katy Perry, Floyd then 3 doors down and of course the good old masala hindi ones. My introspection continued in its own space, where I analysed on some of the decisions that I have taken in my life, on the people that I have met and most importantly on myself. Good bad or ugly, it is after all my life and I should matter the most. I realised the wrong moves that I made, but somehow I do not repent. I think because they were wrong, and the results were so awfully upside down, I undererstood what is right. I do not agree that for everything maturity is must. Firstly, I am highly unclear as to what is maturity? How do you understand if he or she is mature or not ? For me maturity is highly overrated, and problems in life are like bread with butter. 'You can run, you can hide, but you can't escape.' Wei red but, actually so many things were jostling in my mind. Train journeys alone can teach you so many things. It gave me time to miss my dear grandfather. How much I miss his presence in my life. No decisions are wrong....they just have another side to it. While tackling all these ideas, I jotted down few points in a paper and made sure that these are done. One of them is to simply feel happy about who I am.
                        Right now, where I am standing, probably the little girl whom I saw at the station will kill to be there. The boy who is brooming the floor will do everything just to owe my latest i - pod. And thats the truth. I did not realise that time went so fast and it was already lunch. The rest of the journey included me reading a journal on which I have to write an assignment and of course answering calls from my parents and assuring them that I am fine. I realised I was not complaining. That was new. Night swept in and people got down and got in. But I stayed where I was. Finally I reached my destination in the next day early morning. I got down, took my bag, stroll through the Yeshwantpur station, bargained with the autowala and reached my dear bed. But surprisingly I was not tired. I started my unfinished work...again..!!