Size or Shape ??

Please do not let your mind do all the work right now before going over this piece of writing just by looking at the tittle. I might just add that this question probably revolves through every aspect of our lives and the answers generally lies within it. It is a common observation from my side that sizes and shapes have always been the two most integral constituents and the questions like how many and how much becomes so central. A 'fat bellied' girl like me, or to put it in a much sophisticated way the 'khati pita ghar ke' types I have rarely come across men or even women not rolling eyes when I have shown the audacity of picturizing myself in a super model avtar, selecting an outfit which Dolce & Gabanna might not have visualized me while stitching it. Lets see, its like, Queen Latifah emerging out to be Kate Moss...only figure wise...we should not even venture out to the rest. I feel that today the world has this inevitable distinction between the fat people and thin people...as if the good and bad weren't enough. And these so called huge apparel stores with bright lights and skinny men and women at the counters seems to be the watch dogs who are ready to bite you right at the point which will bleed red. An incompetent personality like me who has zero knowledge about fashion conducted a crime, when very recently I went over to a Levis store asking for a pair of bell bottoms jeans of my size (they are super comfy and very easy for me to carry it off). The look which the skinny girl with weird hairdo and color gave me is like, may be she calculated in her mind whether it it was still 2012 or have we moved couple of centuries back. She was horrified and I felt so bad for making this poor girl frightened so much  so that I immediately regained myself and asked any another style, if not bell bottoms. She started ransacking a whole range of skinny jeans with low waist. The first piece she showed me was this metallic blue with bits of sparkles on the rear pocket and super low waist...I was like, seriously??? Do I look like a Tangri kabab to you or you are just assuming that may be a needle will prick me and magically I shall be wooooooshhh..!!! Oh god..! I was speechless. Finally, she understood that she can't make a huge sale to me, she got me probably the last piece of surviving bell bottoms in this world, from the dusts of the store room, which probably in few days shall fall under the prey of the rats. I was delighted. Am sure, even today probably she narrates this story in horror as a person like me still exists.

          I wonder from where did this tussle between the fat v/s thin ugly v/s beauty started ? From which point did we start feeling embarrassed about ourselves? And how did we succumb to this big bad material world where we only think in terms of sizes??? Does size really matters or the shape ? Why is the world running behind the 'S' ? What is this business of XL becoming the S? Honestly speaking I don't have any answers. As a matter of fact I also do think on the same lines and wonder how it would have been if I had the figure of Kareena Kapoor? Well, pretty awesome, for sure, but then it would have been me. My 'ness...as to...my own self won't have been there. And for sure I hate Saif Ali Khan. I won't be who I am. I have seen faces lighting up the moment someone says those magical words...'you have lost weight.' Yeah, I have...I got severe diarrhea dude, may be for that..!! May be I din't want to but forced to...!! But no, we choose to keep quiet, as people will faint if someone prefers to be fat..!! Dddduuaahh..!! I know some amazing people in this world who are healthy, heavy build, lead super exciting lives, have amazing personality and a rocking life. You give them the book 'loose 4 kgs in 3 weeks,'...they will probably roll their eyes and pass on the book to you on your next birthday. For them the body is secondary. The primary is your soul. Pregnant mothers hit the gym as soon as the baby is out...everyone thinks about Malaika Arora Khan...to get that super slim, tight, hot body !! As if that is required for their husbands to fall in love with them...Again..!! Ugggghhh!! Chill women..those baby fat of yours is what your husband shall be crazy about, coz you are the mother of his child. Isn't it not enough for him to be in love with you? I get this amazing urge coming in when I see these 50 something aunties rushing themselves at the tread mill and panting for breath. Commo'n, its disgusting if at that age you simply wants to be Heidi Klum. Why can't you be Helen Mirren? or Shabana Azmi or Octavia Spencer or Melen Strip ?? None of them are sexy, but they are super awesome and the world adores them.  I remember once I saw this hugely build coolie in the railway station, who was carrying this tons of luggages and walking as swiftly like a snake. Boy ! I was amazed.
                Why are we always running behind in changing ourselves? I think our biggest problem is not the social inequality in the society or the unequal distribution of surplus, but the fact that we are never happy with what we have. There was a rage sometime back of coloring hair, and every parlor and salon were ludicrously having customers of all age who wants to turn their black hair into something, which they shall surely regret in 20 yrs down the lane. And at that time I read one article by Julia Roberts who exclaimed with  passion about having natural black hair. Thus, we are soooo thirsty for change, in all ways. So once the MD of United Colors of Benetton uttered that there is no room for healthy women at their store. I wonder he must be single, as no wonder he might just threw away his wife when she will be pregnant ! Or may be he has..! When do we really understand that it is not always the clothes that speak....when do we understand that it is not your makeup that people are looking and when do we understand that it is definitely not your body that people are judging....It is you, your mind, your intellect, your personality, your values that is crucial. It is by these virtues that you can build a powerful 'u' in the society.
                   I do not however rule out the importance of keeping fit. One should definitely keep that in mind, that our body is a our temple. It requires the useful caring and pampering. Keeping fit physically will also keep your mind clean. Thus, it is your prerogative and not your boy friend or husband's to tell you to hit the gym just because some baby fat is bulging out from the LBD you are wearing. Try to do it for yourself. Keep yourself fit to compete in this mad world. Exercise because you feel it is necessary. And lastly, forget about that stupid skinny girl next to your restaurant table...she is sooo worried about being skinny, as it is an accepted fact that, that is all she is there in this world. And if still that doesn't work, remember the words of some great men..'more to love.' We  all are good, perfect...we jusst need to change the lens a bit..!!